If you’re wondering, “What is a healthy relationship?” remember one word. That word is respect. A healthy relationship is about showing each other respect and treating each other like equals.
It’s not about fulfilling your own dreams by living through your partner’s, and it’s not about putting someone else down so that you can build yourself up.
A healthy relationship is one in which you both have fun being together. Granted there are times when fun is not an ingredient – that happens in all relationships. Tragedies and illness can impede the ability to have fun together. But a strong healthy relationship can provide some enjoyment in the most mundane day to day task just because you do them together. Planting the garden, fixing dinner, washing dishes, or washing the car are chores that can be fun, or at least less tedious, because you have someone you love by your side helping you complete the tasks.
A healthy relationship is one in which you don’t have to be “on your best behavior” or putting up some pretext of being anything you aren’t just to impress the other person. In a healthy relationship you can be yourself, and be confident in the knowledge that the other person loves the real you.
In a healthy relationship you can disagree with your partner without it hurting the relationship. There are some exceptions, of course.
Disagree in front of the children about their upbringing or discipline is not good, nor is making disparaging comments about your mates’ opinion. You can also have some interests that your partner doesn’t share, and can act out on them without their having to feel unhappy because you do so. If the two of you have common interests that you take the time to enjoy together but one night a week she goes bowling and you, her partner, go play poker with friends you’re having a healthy relationship. In fact, your enjoyment of each other’s company will probably be enhanced by the occasional separation.
You have a healthy relationship if you both listen to the other, and value her or his opinion. That doesn’t mean you have to be swayed by her or his opinion every time, but you should at least consider it valuable and coming from a source whose wisdom you acknowledge.
A healthy relationship is one built on trust.
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